9.18.05

you could die alone in that empty place
i might never know
who would write and tell me
months would pass and i would still wonder how you were
if you remembered the times we spent
laughing in your car
unable to get out
because we still wanted to stay stuck
in the moment

i don't know why we can't figure out a way
to talk
i don't know how to let go
my heart breaks knowing that we are so close and yet
we are millions of miles away
this electricity
brought us together
and keeps us apart

i just wanted to see you one more time
and tell you that i was willing to let you go
for the sake of our friendship
i wanted to tell you that i knew that i needed to find myself
and work on things
i wanted to see your face and show you that i was in pain
but that i knew you were too

i know we met for a reason
but i don't know why
i fell in love with you
but i'm afraid i can't be trusted with love anymore
i wish so much that it wasn't like this
i wish so much that you could not have to be so afraid of me

that cuts me so deeply
i try not to let it
but it rips me up
it tears at tender pieces of me
even though i try not to let it

i hope one day we'll meet again and we'll both be different
i hope we'll both be healed
not from each other
but from ourselves.