thanks, Mrs. S.
my friend, james, has a neat twist on birthdays. he sends his mom a card on his birthday. he's sent my mom a card on my birthday several times. a thank you for having me. a card of gratitude. a true mother's day card.
given the previous post and my frustration and resignation and all around upset, this may seem out of place. but i want you to know it's not at all disingenuous.
today is jeff's 35th birthday. a virgo. i don't know what that all means right at the moment. if we're supposed to be compatible or not. who knows. i remember him coming to a barbeque once and my friend, abel, who is really 'into' astrology, giving him the rundown of virgos.
abel knows a lot about astrology and signs because he's a salesman. literally and figuratively. he actually sells things (furs, mattresses, etc.), and he also likes to think he's got the upper hand on someone in any given situation. he likes to think he's in the know...what their personality is, how they will react, what their 'game' is so he can play it.
so, abel's there, giving him the lowdown about virgos, and i think jeff probably feels he's getting a decent evaluation. abel takes this astrology business fairly seriously, for as i've said, this means a lot to him in many different arenas of his life. but, i can't remember what it means. virgo. i just know i'm a pisces, and i don't know if we're supposed to be astrological pals or not.
what i do know is that i had pictured today being different 6 months ago. dinner. a date. shit, even two months ago, i thought maybe i'd take him to new york for his birthday. neither one of us has been. i thought maybe we'd go for the weekend...nothing romantic, but just go for the weekend, see the sights, take some pictures.
i'm here instead. i love sets of fives. 7 is a magic number, so 7 times 5 (35) is a great place to be. i think that's great. he's finished his 35th year. magic.
i'm grateful for every day we spent together. i'm grateful for all the music and movies and art and photos he exposed me to. i'm grateful for the way we know each other. i'm grateful for the connection we made. i'm grateful for knowing him. i really can't put it into words, really. i'm not doing it justice.
birthdays are different for everyone. for some, they are a time for celebration. for some, they are anxiety filling. for some, they are cause for sadness. i always hope that people have a chance for some calm reflection mixed with a little mirth.
i know that his day of birth came filled with complexity. i thank his mother and father. i can't send them a card...oh, that i would. i would just tell them what a fine son they have. i think sometimes, that's maybe all parents really need to know. that they did a good job; that their kids are fine and that they've been raised with good values and are really good people.
again, i can't make any promises about what i will or will not write about here. but it seems like after today, i should just probably let things be.
to jeff, for the new year:
may you find your days filled with friends and laughter and love. may you have music and beauty and know your heart's desire. may you set out into the new year filled with the courage to follow your dreams. may you trust that the universe is conspiring to support you and guide your every step. may you hear the small voice that always knows the next right thing. and may you have faith to do it.
happy birthday, jeff.
given the previous post and my frustration and resignation and all around upset, this may seem out of place. but i want you to know it's not at all disingenuous.
today is jeff's 35th birthday. a virgo. i don't know what that all means right at the moment. if we're supposed to be compatible or not. who knows. i remember him coming to a barbeque once and my friend, abel, who is really 'into' astrology, giving him the rundown of virgos.
abel knows a lot about astrology and signs because he's a salesman. literally and figuratively. he actually sells things (furs, mattresses, etc.), and he also likes to think he's got the upper hand on someone in any given situation. he likes to think he's in the know...what their personality is, how they will react, what their 'game' is so he can play it.
so, abel's there, giving him the lowdown about virgos, and i think jeff probably feels he's getting a decent evaluation. abel takes this astrology business fairly seriously, for as i've said, this means a lot to him in many different arenas of his life. but, i can't remember what it means. virgo. i just know i'm a pisces, and i don't know if we're supposed to be astrological pals or not.
what i do know is that i had pictured today being different 6 months ago. dinner. a date. shit, even two months ago, i thought maybe i'd take him to new york for his birthday. neither one of us has been. i thought maybe we'd go for the weekend...nothing romantic, but just go for the weekend, see the sights, take some pictures.
i'm here instead. i love sets of fives. 7 is a magic number, so 7 times 5 (35) is a great place to be. i think that's great. he's finished his 35th year. magic.
i'm grateful for every day we spent together. i'm grateful for all the music and movies and art and photos he exposed me to. i'm grateful for the way we know each other. i'm grateful for the connection we made. i'm grateful for knowing him. i really can't put it into words, really. i'm not doing it justice.
birthdays are different for everyone. for some, they are a time for celebration. for some, they are anxiety filling. for some, they are cause for sadness. i always hope that people have a chance for some calm reflection mixed with a little mirth.
i know that his day of birth came filled with complexity. i thank his mother and father. i can't send them a card...oh, that i would. i would just tell them what a fine son they have. i think sometimes, that's maybe all parents really need to know. that they did a good job; that their kids are fine and that they've been raised with good values and are really good people.
again, i can't make any promises about what i will or will not write about here. but it seems like after today, i should just probably let things be.
to jeff, for the new year:
may you find your days filled with friends and laughter and love. may you have music and beauty and know your heart's desire. may you set out into the new year filled with the courage to follow your dreams. may you trust that the universe is conspiring to support you and guide your every step. may you hear the small voice that always knows the next right thing. and may you have faith to do it.
happy birthday, jeff.
